The Trauma of Late Diagnosed ADHD
Hey there!
Get comfortable, grab your favourite sensory tool and settle into this fortnight’s blog post. Last fortnight we spoke about being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult – this fortnight is our follow up blog about the trauma that can be associated with late diagnosed ADHD.
We didn’t have those labels back then, you were just naughty kids’.
I was talking with my Mother recently about ADHD in our family (both her side and my Dad’s side). It turns out there are quite a few of us organising later-in-life assessments and receiving diagnoses, which had us talking about how times have changed. My mum made the comment ‘we didn’t have those labels back then, you were just naughty kids’.
Now I firmly believe parents do the best they can with the resources they have available to them, but the reality is, for those of us growing up in the 80s and 90s, there wasn’t the awareness of neurodiversity that we have today. Parents didn’t have awareness, and as a result, the unique needs kiddos had in the 80s and 90s weren’t appropriately supported. I say this with absolute kindness towards parents, reflecting that if knowledge wasn’t available in the 80s and 90s, it certainly wasn’t available in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Really, we are looking at generations of neurodiverse children that were often labelled ‘naughty’ or ‘badly behaved’. Looking back – how were ‘naughty or badly behaved’ children supported? Not well…
Unmet needs can be traumatic
Later in life diagnosed adults often talk about how they got into trouble or had a hard time because of their ADHD traits when they were children.
This includes things like:
Comments on report cards that they are ‘smart, but lazy and not living up to their potential’.
Being put into remedial classes, often despite high IQ and creativity.
Being punished for difficulties with keeping their room clean.
Getting into trouble for losing items.
Being labelled as a ‘sook’ or ‘dramatic’ for having strong emotions.
Being labelled as ‘naughty’ or ‘problematic’ for hyperactive behaviour.
Unmet needs in childhood can result in extreme feelings of grief and loss. Adults may welcome the diagnosis, but grieve what their life would have been like if they had appropriate supports available to them. They may also express frustration about the way they were treated in classrooms, or other learning environments.
Processing an adult diagnosis
Processing the complexity of these feelings can take time. It is important for adults diagnosed later in life to be gentle with themselves, and reach out for support if they feel they would benefit from it. A range of Allied Health Professional input can be invaluable for later diagnosed adults.
If you’re interested in education and supports around ADHD (including how my brand of Occupational Therapy can help!) check out my social media channels via Instagram and Facebook. You can also subscribe to receive info in your inbox below!
Your friend in neurodivergence,
Kristy